tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44903220963460182542024-02-07T17:09:56.972-08:00These are the things I would say...Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-55384360443255664062015-08-17T07:53:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:53:18.188-07:00Irrefutable TruthsBig title for small thoughts...<br />
On the bike yesterday, always a good place for me and Papa to think, ponder....pray.<br />
As we rode past fields of corn and beans. I thought of seeds. How they go into the ground as one thing and break apart...open and grow into huge and beautiful plants.<br />
Before that I was thinking about what is irrefutably true to me?<br />
Jesus, His birth fully human and fully God. Born into a world to save it.<br />
People born at the intersection of male and female.<br />
Seeds must break apart to change.<br />
<br />
Nehemiah is enduring seizures again...his family, him persevering through incredible chaos. Epilepsy a disorder without much understanding. A disorder that interrupts life, restructures families. I want solutions. Everything in me must die to accept that this side of heaven somethings will never be fully understood.<br />
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Papa and I are reading Job and this morning was Chapter 39, God addressing Job and his friends after listening to them and their conclusions and solutions. He created everything. There is nothing unknown to Him. The cycle of animals specific to mountain goats, wild donkeys, wild oxen, ostrich and horses...why would I think He doesn't have all of us that closely defined. He knows and to learn to rest in the comfort of that, much in me has to die to grow. In all of us.<br />
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But, we're also in Ezekiel and this morning the picture of the 'dry bones' and the promise of new hearts in 36 and 37....I am encouraged.<br />
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My prayer for people, specifically my family to Know Christ for themselves...to live lives pointing others to that same 'knowing' , irrefutably knowing a seeking heart He never denies....hearing in my head 'that which a man already knows he cannot learn' ....this is the process. A dying to ourselves, to what we think we already know to be born again, anew into what He has always had planned for us.<br />
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I irrefutably know He has a plan for His good and glory to Be Revealed and I will surrender daily, moment by moment into TRUSTING that.<br />
<br />
Hebrews 13:21<br />
Romans 12:2<br />
Romans 8:28<br />
Isaiah 61:1-3<br />
Job 39<br />
Ezekiel 36-37<br />
<br />Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-71791847737541419422015-08-01T06:40:00.000-07:002015-08-01T06:40:48.297-07:00If This is why ?If I started for my Grands, why did I stop?<br />
<br />
Went back to pen and paper and on my final Grand, or so it appears right now. And writing w/out even knowing is it he or she.<br />
I stopped writing here and now want to start again.<br />
Looking at my lack of 'finishing' things I wonder at how He is working in me, here and in everything. Recognizing my penchant for 'easy' and being called to 'hard'.<br />
It's been a 'relatively'' hard year. The loss of both parents in the span of a few short months but blessed beyond belief at the reconciliation of our relationships but even more with the blessing of watching them come, at the very least....a curiosity about Christ after years of thinking they knew. Epictetus said, well Roy Moran quoted him '....it is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows. '<br />
I was blessed to watch that truth change lives, change eternity and in those very hard discussions see Him change them, change me. I would have, had, in the past avoided THAT very hard time. It is only through years in the Bible that I have seen myself as so hard and afraid, so fearfully prideful, arrogant even. So painfully dishonest and self protective. Seeing myself this way has driven me more and more and MORE into Grace.<br />
Realizing how many relationships I damaged and ALMOST lost because of it.<br />
Sadly more have been lost than saved....and that thought can shame me but then, there's GRACE again ...HIS for me and I tearfully push forward into trying every day to obediently move into<br />
SOFT.....HUMBLE.....HONEST......and VULNERABLE.<br />
I pray my Grands learn this early.....seek Him young....remember you can't learn what you think you already know.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-44156110718552808242015-08-01T05:50:00.000-07:002015-08-01T05:50:47.647-07:00A year passes by so quickly, we barely notice it's gone. Then in the looking back we see....<br />
<br />
Births and deaths<br />
Highs and lows<br />
Failures and successes<br />
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How to live each moment Matthew 6:33Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-22085387328590374832015-05-18T06:22:00.002-07:002015-05-18T06:22:46.435-07:00WonderingI journal of a morning. For the last 2 years or so and now, on my last Grand and I wonder.....now what?<br />
<br />
I read about Him and wonder at His call on my life?<br />
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I love to encourage others to seek Him, to discover where He wants them to GO. I wonder at where He wants me to Go?<br />
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I come back to it's ABOUT Him...always. That I never wonder about.<br />
<br />Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-77430460708606920562013-08-07T07:40:00.000-07:002013-08-07T07:40:11.438-07:00Thots<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;">“I never sent these prophets, but they ran anyway. I never spoke to them, but they preached away. If they’d have bothered to sit down and meet with me, they’d have preached my Message to my people. They’d have gotten them back on the right track, gotten them out of their evil ruts."</span><br />
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"Instead of claiming to know what God says, ask questions of one another, such as ‘How do we understand God in this?’ But don’t go around pretending to know it all, saying ‘God told me this... God told me that....’ I don’t want to hear it anymore. Only the person I authorize speaks for me. Otherwise, my Message gets twisted, the Message of the living God -of-the-Angel-Armies. (Jeremiah <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">23:21-22</a> & 35-36 MSG) </div>
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My curiosity comes from judgementalism..I know that sux and is not obedient to His Word Matt. 6:6-7 and in seeing how I suck and seeing my need for Grace and how it's offered to me and accepting it maybe I will have more Grace to offer and will become more genuinely curious, more obedient...It's ALL just Grace isn't it? Those are my thoughts this morning....</div>
Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-32771999122067769852013-01-01T06:16:00.000-08:002013-01-01T06:16:44.971-08:002013Who told you you were naked? Genesis 3:11<br />
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I want to live in that being known. Write from a place of nothing hidden. Knowing His heart is broken and yet He still loves.<br />
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I pray 2013 to follow wherever it is He leads, for all who know this GRACEGigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-73826086307620781852012-07-27T07:17:00.001-07:002012-07-27T07:17:14.543-07:00IfIf you call yourself a Christian I hope you are a Christ follower.<br />
If you are a Christ follower I hope you know you are a Disciple<br />
I hope you know Disciple ultimately means you are a learner<br />
I hope you are learning from His Word and being humbly obedient to what you are learning<br />
I hope you know what you are following so you know where it is you are leading<br />
And I hope you know you are leading<br />
<br />
I hope I am learning all this myself Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-84818870586273695612012-05-20T05:02:00.002-07:002012-05-20T05:14:10.674-07:00EmmaI look at the title of this blog.....<br />1st thing i read this morning:<br />Romans 12:2 'Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, BUT be transformed by the RENEWING of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.<br /><br />2nd thing...Isaiah 13:6 Wail! God's day of judgement is near- an avalanche crashing down from the Strong God.<br /><br />6 verses and I stop<br />Revelation of character<br />I am a daughter of Christ and I in front of my 9 year old Granddaughter called my daughter a 'bitch'. In fun I can justify. Why can i call it silly or fun or cute to do that?<br />I am thinking this morning about my 'words'.<br />I say, I love Jesus<br />I prove w/my ACTIONS and words, over and over- I am that in name only.<br />I am sorry Father and I am sorry Emma Grace, my first precious Gift from God Granddaughter.<br />I am sorry.<br />I will- run into Your Grace filled arms and not wallow in this or talk about it ad nauseum AND I will from now on, in remembering Romans and my mantle of 'daughter' watch my words and focus on You.<br /> I will never call anyone a 'bitch' again and obediently listen before I speak all the while remembering Your love and Grace for all and spend the rest of my life listening to Your Spirit guide my words - prayerfully into discussion and LISTENING to them for openings to have those discussions where THEY are searching and that could potentially bring THEM into a knowing of YOU, Your Son, Your Grace.<br />I am sorry Emma.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-89193611294130173952012-05-07T04:50:00.005-07:002012-05-07T05:00:55.764-07:00April 2012<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMmtgPbPdS0K5I1pvVVSziXyLUB1Uo6qq_CUuF26zdtEx7No_obcv6Xg5DcDYBUKxlvyGF0AL25CIYgByCI74LrRGft2SupHKzwWNzsItVmTaYN5kEnuXSmWv9am9KJ7kyiocfh5omDeDg/s1600/IMG_3216.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMmtgPbPdS0K5I1pvVVSziXyLUB1Uo6qq_CUuF26zdtEx7No_obcv6Xg5DcDYBUKxlvyGF0AL25CIYgByCI74LrRGft2SupHKzwWNzsItVmTaYN5kEnuXSmWv9am9KJ7kyiocfh5omDeDg/s200/IMG_3216.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5739758980698185026" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Wow April was an amazing month this year.<br />Papa and I married 35 years.<br />2 weeks in LA with Dara, Juno and Nehe.....trying to serve Dara as she allowed a new lil one to settle into her womb....yep #6 on the way.<br />Traveling through the SW w/Papa seeing country so beautiful as to take you breath away.<br />Riding behind Papa praying....<br />Getting up in the morning and reading the Word, trying to learn about becoming a Disciple of Christ, desiring with my heart to be about Him and others, all others. It's so against my natural, this praying to be led always by the Supernatural. I don't know what's next. I pray that knowing the desires of my heart He is changing me. I pray to become more and more about Him and live a life that shows who I know, who I follow, who I obey.<br />I will this day be prayerful and obedient. To, in that obedience not miss anything that He is showing me, leading me to.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-23040263814246528522012-03-28T04:03:00.002-07:002012-03-28T04:45:07.784-07:00Mark 8Jesus rebuking Peter: " You do not have in mind the things of God, but merely human concerns."<div><br /></div><div>Moving....packing up 28 years of stuff....going back to a place I ran away from.....leaving the most dearest here....I want to be obedient to You. I want to be sure it's the right thing. How can I know??</div><div><br /></div><div>Holding on to what Joshua told the people, LOWHS</div><div><br /></div><div>Love You</div><div>Obey You</div><div>Walk with You</div><div>Hold tight to You</div><div>SERVE You</div><div>Joshua 22:5</div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-86111870455279189592012-03-26T10:50:00.003-07:002012-03-26T11:25:31.229-07:00Broken....It doesn't take much reading of the Bible to see where we are broken...<br /><br />No , I take that back, it takes a bit of time to read and digest this amazing book to see how and where we are broken. It doesn't take much just looking around, REALLY honestly looking around to see we are broken.<br />It's the honestly looking around that is key. See we are all so personally broken that we have lost what real honesty is, ok I have. It is only in having this amazing relationship with Christ that I have seen, can keep seeing how far from being honest I am. And I wager a guess that it is a common occurence in this human race.<br /><br />But to make this personal I will keep it at how far from honest I have been....am. And that I cannot write 'have been', makes me really sad and yet...keeps me needing to be swimming in His Grace and that I can, simply stuns me over and over again.<br /><br />Right now this story of Trayvon Martin, breaks my heart. That it is having to be told and dissected and that his poor family have found themselves not only suffering his loss but are in the middle of such a turbulent story line. A story with real characters and being told by just as real characters. A story being bandied about in defense of and criticized for making it a racial issue. We are such a broken world. The pain we inflict on each other is unbelievable and that sometimes we don't know that pain we inflict with our opinions is evidence of the brokenness. We see color and if you deny that, I have a feeling there is a whole lot more you are not in touch with, honest about. We see it....I do, have and so wish I didn't. I so wish it wasn't the first thing I notice. Quickly on the heels of that is attractiveness, the shallowness with which i operate shames me, no longer surprises me. Again I wish I didn't. What I can claim though is that now with Christ I don't stop there, not even long enough to make a judgment.....God I hope that's true and somehow as I write it claiming Christ I think it is. I have a bi-racial grandson, Nehemiah with the most beautiful caramel skin. With a Haitian Daddy and a white Momma, he is one of our passel of Grands.<br />I see color and attractiveness and swimming in Grace just needed because of said confession i become curious. He is making me more and more curious and for that I am grateful. He is humbling me to a place of needing to be swimming in Grace and making me curious.....How do I stay....right.....here.....?Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-32595561595087186192012-03-19T06:47:00.002-07:002012-03-19T06:48:48.874-07:00Joshua 1:9Holding onto this verse today.......maybe you need it too.<br /><br /><div style="font-style: italic;" class="result-text-style-normal text-html "> <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-5861">9</sup> Have I not<span style="font-weight: bold;"> commanded </span>you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” </div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-20464968115424363452012-03-17T04:09:00.002-07:002012-03-17T04:14:44.968-07:00FollowThere are decisions looming....<div>I want desperately to follow wherever it is You lead as long as it's not back...</div><div>A lot of times tho You refer to a turning back...to a yielding....a submitting.</div><div><br /></div><div>So now I wait.....like Abraham giving You what I so desperately want to keep. It feels very hopeless and yet...Deuteronomy 31:8 says <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-5737" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; ">8</sup> The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><div class="passage-scroller"><ul class="result-options button txt-sm" id="result-options1" style="border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; background-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 0%, 0% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), to(rgb(170, 170, 170))); color: rgb(68, 68, 68); border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-right-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-left-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); background-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); cursor: default; font-size: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; float: left; "><li style="list-style-type: none; float: left; border-right-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); "><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+1&version=NIV" title="Go to Numbers 1" style="color: rgb(101, 19, 0); text-decoration: none; display: block; height: 25px; "></a></li></ul></div></span>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-30087028623120927032012-03-01T05:45:00.002-08:002012-03-01T05:55:46.642-08:00From a 'Walker' to Alive in ChristI know you all are too young to watch Walking Dead and yet this is my only place to share:)<br /><br />"Walkers" are Zombies. Well first off confession..i LOVE the Walking Dead. There it's out, Gigi is a, well I am hooked on the show.<br /><br />It's about a time where there is an apocalyptic event, where in this 'virus' has invaded the earth. A virus where people die and then undergo the process of becoming Zombies/Walkers. Walkers are those whose bodies have died and their brains, parts of their brains underwent this change and now are the Walking Dead. With no thots other than survival. Will leave the how of survival to your own imagination or research on Zombies.<br /><br />in the first season, those who somehow survived the 'virus' are together and working towards survival themselves. living in a world of Walkers who need the living to survive. They make their way to the Center for Disease control in Atlanta and come into the facility meeting the only survivor who has scientifically documented his wife's descent into becoming a Walker. He documents her death and then maps out the brain activity that turned her.<br /><br />I feel like the reverse is true for...well for me, and that I am fighting the transference. Fighting the death of ME. or maybe it's already happened and the transference is happening and the synapses in my brain are changing......that i am coming out of the Zombie like state of walking around looking to and for my own survival into to a life of obedience, of following, of being devoted to Christ.<br /><br />I don't know if this makes any sense and if anyone out there is a fan of the show and seeking Christ :/ perhaps we can dialogue about this. And together come to die so we can live.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-44934266049867535172012-01-18T08:04:00.001-08:002012-02-29T07:24:59.801-08:00I am a motorcycle rider, scratch that. My husband is a motorcycle rider and graciously allows me to accompany him on the back of the bike. ....confession...i have made a big point in our years together that THAT bike doesn't leave the driveway unless i am on the back. The gracious part stays, my husband shares his passion and talents with me with so much grace that i am overwhelmed.<br />confession....overwhelmd when i am not griping about simply looking at the back of his big ass helmet. yup instead of being grateful for what i see, where i have been, glorying in the freedom that sailing along on two wheels brings me i bitch at him about looking at his 'big ass helmet'. I regale him w/the frustrations of never being able to see where we are going. i piss and moan at this road or that, this beautiful piece of scenery or that with an irregular regularity. He who holds the responsiblity of my safety, his, our future, i complain to.<br />it has been an ongoing revelation to me that THAT is also the way i treat my Abba. He who goes before me and has my back. He who sent His son to die for me. I spend way more time complaining to Him than Thanking Him.<br />there are many stories i have learned from my seat on the back of the bike. now to implement all that i have learned His Grace and my husbands astounds me.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-54188516160966343282012-01-02T06:42:00.001-08:002012-01-02T07:35:15.388-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWWpCg8mf1wjy71DFxIXiM16tccOGi22bvLm8TLk18Rc2-V5wo3lJcZFFtGUOlvRwnb4RoGkm4DuxsQ8UZdK-p4IYj0a2tcWrI_KBo9-mZyD5Sk6ia-K1qxu58zlSCQS1tUo2rVBljKHxM/s1600/5grands%2521_001.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWWpCg8mf1wjy71DFxIXiM16tccOGi22bvLm8TLk18Rc2-V5wo3lJcZFFtGUOlvRwnb4RoGkm4DuxsQ8UZdK-p4IYj0a2tcWrI_KBo9-mZyD5Sk6ia-K1qxu58zlSCQS1tUo2rVBljKHxM/s200/5grands%2521_001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693052195278463154" border="0" /></a><br />Merry Christmas and Happy New Year<br />these are the ones who constitute the joy of the name i get to carry of Gigi.<br />my prayer in 2012 is, more a word i want to focus on, learn about, carry out.DISCIPLESHIP...<br />webster says....<span class="ssens">one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another..<br />the doctrines of Christ the Bible...He says to love Him with your whole heart and soul and strength and to love others all others......to make disciples of men.......<br />i have much to learn and can only dream...pray...hope to in the journey towards full discipleship of myself to bring any and all along.....<br />a year of sinking myself into Obedience and the joy that comes in that struggle.<br /></span>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-4580005592614677262011-12-14T04:15:00.000-08:002011-12-15T06:31:44.280-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA-IrInMZNN_RY1lBkKLaDcVclgWQ_mKWsuCRlEtLi0Tbuorcw_kN6mWcpxPalPU4cHN0y9b-ejPkj_yu-Drvy98Z8gyDUt1vwh367t8ZQTimn9IFqDfej_PVDRd3z7JDMe1ZKsom6Yhox/s1600/IMG_0645-1.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA-IrInMZNN_RY1lBkKLaDcVclgWQ_mKWsuCRlEtLi0Tbuorcw_kN6mWcpxPalPU4cHN0y9b-ejPkj_yu-Drvy98Z8gyDUt1vwh367t8ZQTimn9IFqDfej_PVDRd3z7JDMe1ZKsom6Yhox/s200/IMG_0645-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686362729625727858" border="0" /></a><br />this morning still swimming in Nehe and how he is like the Israelites and SO AM I.......Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-56770378160450659172011-12-13T07:18:00.000-08:002011-12-13T07:25:50.625-08:00this is hard....being a mom after so many years of...of .....not I guess<br />being a mom is 24/7 of being there......being the one leaned on.....the one depended upon to provide the physical and emotional needs of a 14 month old. one who likes to seem independent and looking always looking for his freedom. resenting anything that looks like confinement until he needs someone to lean on .....and oh how sweetly Nehe leans. always making sure i am there and backing into my lap and leaning his sweet lil head into my chest. it's the backing in that cracks me up, never looking, just sure i am there and backing into my lap......child like faith.<br /><br />i thought i could DO THIS, i knew it would be hard but didn't take into account how much of my freedom was going to be compromised, how confined i would feel.....today i need to back into your lap, sure it's there and that it will never push me up and out of the way to go DO something more important. HE loves us more than we will ever know and doesn't get overwhelmed with how much we need Him.<br /><br />learning so much from this time of 24/7 returning to Momming.....Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-7100308031448018262011-11-25T03:56:00.000-08:002011-11-25T04:20:02.141-08:00Day after Thanksgiving 20112011<br />for a gal born in the 50's this is hard to grasp. not every day but somedays, you just look at 2011 and are stunned.<br />born into a decade of.......simplicity finding myself yearning for simple and sucked into technology.<br />you my grands will know nothing of life without technology:cell phones and video games and the internet. you won't know what it's like to NOT be instantly connected and yet face to face and really connected, or that's what it seems like to me right now in this moment of remembering nehe being born and there he is in all his precious newness and his peeps are tweeting and facebooking his arrival rather than gazing adoringly in his face....of Gigi getting shot in the butt with a paintball gun and rather than all of us laughing together we are again tweeting and facebooking the event:) it was fun....seriously to stand there and wait...wait....wait to get shot in the butt with a paintball.<br /><br />i am not judging any of us just looking at what we have become and lamenting i guess a bit of the lostness of 'in the moment' joy and memories. well you do have the video <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=713623985272">here</a> to see the silliness of it. the joy of being with family at a moment of pure silliness and fun.<br /><br />just try to remember to be fully present in any given moment and i will promise the same.Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-13103963384385560272011-10-31T06:39:00.000-07:002011-10-31T07:10:30.562-07:00Perspective<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJm48okQ3CiRp8fbSvbNwgF2g-yTEYU4sMMO_NCP7p118aW7isEQ_G24K3taMVRGypxwpWAGpnBBHV_ziMQVaSxfMqAX_Su7BPORAER_x6Dem47F-Z8ySSFb3Pp33mnDAgPz3Ft62WMmb/s1600/IMG_2043.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJm48okQ3CiRp8fbSvbNwgF2g-yTEYU4sMMO_NCP7p118aW7isEQ_G24K3taMVRGypxwpWAGpnBBHV_ziMQVaSxfMqAX_Su7BPORAER_x6Dem47F-Z8ySSFb3Pp33mnDAgPz3Ft62WMmb/s200/IMG_2043.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669650976459378370" border="0" /></a>our trip to Utah was amazing and beautiful and inspiring and brought us home close to Him and seeking.<br />nothing new really and while that can be frustrating it is also humbling...really humbling. the vast creativity of our God in a land of red and rocks and canyons and buttes and bluffs and vistas left me feeling small and insignificant and blessed. that i don't change and that He loves me anyway, that i am even more broken and selfish than i knew and loved more than i can imagine leaves me breathless and awed and grateful. anxious to BE different showing yet again how little i get of this journey to insignificance and incredible worth.......Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-47194413996936603012011-09-16T05:56:00.001-07:002011-09-16T06:32:32.801-07:00Psalm 128<div style="text-align: justify;"> Justice<span style="font-weight: bold;">......................................................................................................</span>Grace <br /><br />so far apart<br /><div style="text-align: center;">what we deserve and in Christ what we receive<br /></div>the gap<br /><br />Psalm 128:<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" class="versenum" id="en-MSG-en-MSG-en-MSG-13904">1-2</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> All you who fear </span><span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-style: italic;">God</span><span style="font-style: italic;">, how blessed you are! how happily you walk on his smooth straight road! </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> You worked hard and deserve all you've got coming. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness! </span><br /><br />fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding....comes to me<br />Msg. Proverbs 1:<sup style="font-style: italic;" class="versenum" id="en-MSG-6831">7</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> Start with </span><span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-style: italic;">God</span><span style="font-style: italic;">—the first step in learning is bowing down to </span><span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-style: italic;">God</span><span style="font-style: italic;">; </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. </span><br />Amp. <sup style="font-style: italic;" class="versenum" id="en-AMP-16408">7</sup><span style="font-style: italic;">The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction, and discipline.</span><sup style="font-style: italic;" class="xref" value="(<a href="#cen-AMP-16408A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)">(<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%201:7&version=AMP#cen-AMP-16408A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)</sup><br />Justice<span style="font-weight: bold;">...............................................................................................................</span>Grace<br />so far apart ~ to fear the Lord, <span style="font-weight: bold;">this</span>, this gap is important to know?!<br /><br />i didn't fear You, because i didn't know either one, justice or grace<br />i lived for me<br />oblivious<br />oblivion turned to stubborn rebellion?<br />stubborn rebellion and fear, but not fear of You<br /><br />i was afraid<br />afraid and FEAR of the Lord are different<br />without Christ i am still afraid....of everything<br />and yet<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">in a fear of God</span> i am blessed out of oblivion....<br />out of oblivion comes a call to obedience....<br /><br />Justice<span style="font-weight: bold;">...............................................................................................................</span>Grace<br /><div style="text-align: center;">so far apart<br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;">what we deserve ................................................................ </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">what we receive in Christ</span><br />do people know, does my Daddy know, there is such a HUGE gap?<br />how do we help someone come out of oblivion without scaring them to death?<br />scaring them and THEN throwing them the life preserve JESUS<br />it's the life preserver that saves them NOT the one who throws it<br />how to live in FEAR<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AWE</span><br />so my precious Grands.....it's not about me or you....us....it's about HIM who saves and IF we live dependent that is all we can do......<br /><br />love you all gigi<br /></div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-1642904549572936792011-09-14T06:51:00.000-07:002011-09-14T06:51:12.581-07:00<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKu45pKggT5pcxp4GMZnBpzRddUzPNYxpCBNe08RjGaUMCEY3V9QPdowCITqtnrmKMe3a3I4pyCLxj7dBbmoZaGpeYRe5GoHUnSiAZXrUOLWSZGQHUxBhf_UYqX-cH5xbgKNNNeOyXqDeA/s1600/IMG_1107.JPG"><img border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKu45pKggT5pcxp4GMZnBpzRddUzPNYxpCBNe08RjGaUMCEY3V9QPdowCITqtnrmKMe3a3I4pyCLxj7dBbmoZaGpeYRe5GoHUnSiAZXrUOLWSZGQHUxBhf_UYqX-cH5xbgKNNNeOyXqDeA/s320/IMG_1107.JPG" /></a> </div>this is your papa working on a project, helping one of his kids, his grown kids withsomething they were stuck on and in and needed papa's help.<br />your papa never says 'i can't'<br />he always tries<br />he always steps up<br />he is a different papa than he was a daddy and credits Christ, His Spirit residing in him for the difference<br />papa shares his nutty bars even tho he swears he won't<br />papa gets up early every morning and seeks God, his seeking heart inspires me daily<br /><br />just wanted to share your papa this morning<br />love you all gigi<div style='clear:both; text-align:CENTER'><a href='http://picasa.google.com/blogger/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif' alt='Posted by Picasa' style='border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;' align='middle' border='0' /></a></div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-61418056082838831602011-09-13T05:53:00.000-07:002011-09-13T06:08:31.398-07:0009/11/11<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKBAhseI-PyYl2PRdxCd8nPOd7BceRCV1IefIrN_XxTVaUXBh-aA-TiCit7wUzDubTom25nNvK167dAwNYUPqzcGnG6_teoTYyDQyVThqJgSFWnEnULNtvMaKLTY2ZfHIn5Sjn1sgHtzNd/s1600/IMG_1132.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; FLOAT: right; CLEAR: both" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKBAhseI-PyYl2PRdxCd8nPOd7BceRCV1IefIrN_XxTVaUXBh-aA-TiCit7wUzDubTom25nNvK167dAwNYUPqzcGnG6_teoTYyDQyVThqJgSFWnEnULNtvMaKLTY2ZfHIn5Sjn1sgHtzNd/s320/IMG_1132.JPG" border="0" /></a>papa and i went riding on the 11th of september. just papa taking roads as they caught his fancy, my favorite kind of ride. a kind of sort of destination, leaving him a freedom of choice as he rides.<br />we stopped at noon to pray, remember, thank God for everything and ask for guidance as we try to live these lives of purpose, desiring to build up others as disciples of Christ and clueless in the how of it.<br />anytime i ride behind your papa i have time to think and pray. this time was no different and filled w/imagery for me.<br />your papa started the trip off right w/his lil piece of blue tape that's for sure:)<br /><br /><br />i don't know how to write of my memories of 10 years ago .<br />i was at work on 14 s main, the central office for liberty public schools at that time. seeing the events transpire was surreal and sobering . my first thot was that jared, your daddy jameson , was going to have to go to war. not of the people dying but how it was going to effect me by how it was going to effect your daddy.<br />he was a senior in high school at the time and our only son, the baby, the only one still home. i am ashamed now at how my thots ran so quickly and were not centered on those in the midst of the suffering.<br />papa was at work in the railyards next to the kc downtown airport and he noticed planes landing and wondered what was going on i remember trying to tell him. i remember his calming me, telling me to pray and then the coolest thing happened, we all held hands and prayed.<br />it was a day filled w/images of smoke and fire and so much death.<br />i remember the days following and everyone talking about all who died being angels and already in heaven and i remember wondering about that did they know Jesus and what if they didn't and i remember praying for an urgency in my life to help people know Him.<br />i remember feeling weird that i didn't agree w/those who believed all were in heaven.<br />i remember the weirdness killing the urgency......for a time.<br />i remember wanting to give away something i maybe didn't have and being so disappointed.<br />i remember that disappointment somedays being so heavy that i thought i would simply go crazy with it.<br />i remember papa and i arguing alot and yet never staying in anger, we were learning to communicate and hear each other.<br /><br />there's probably more but that's what i remember today. i pray for when you all experience things like 9/11 that deepen your faith and take you closer to Him. love you all gigi<div style="clear:both; text-align:RIGHT"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-70014481725443277362011-09-12T12:29:00.000-07:002011-09-12T12:33:30.957-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkHahdOucsv8IqAZRpEroeewvTSxyPwHxR8OsRIy8p1omc4YytmJzSCytdDbIegBeVhor3y_2zs2yRPH5a9o2IFr4nH3ns9m2QFmlPr12hwoILxsVQZENRGWOQ_9uWpKy_SWaxUaQBuXsj/s1600/IMG_1120.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkHahdOucsv8IqAZRpEroeewvTSxyPwHxR8OsRIy8p1omc4YytmJzSCytdDbIegBeVhor3y_2zs2yRPH5a9o2IFr4nH3ns9m2QFmlPr12hwoILxsVQZENRGWOQ_9uWpKy_SWaxUaQBuXsj/s200/IMG_1120.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5651557852949755858" border="0" /></a>Yup, got on the bike yesterday and your sweet and wise papa had attached that blue piece of tape to the back of his helmet. twas a good reminder in fact i think i might get me some dry erase markers and write all over his big ole helmet!!<br /><br />remember we don't have to see what's ahead to TRUST HIM. love you all gigiGigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490322096346018254.post-83088712050083168622011-09-07T07:34:00.000-07:002011-09-07T07:57:13.713-07:002 Chronicles 36:122 Chronicles 36:12 .....<span style="font-style: italic;">treated the prophets like idiots</span>...<br /><br />i tell myself i write here for when i'm gone, for my Grands to see a journey, mine, their papa's and yet sometimes the thoughts are probably more appropriate to a hand-written journal. for my eyes only and the ears of a sweet papa who sits with me of a morning as we listen and talk to our Papa.<br /><br />i have been praying for softness, for His eyes and a softness and obedience to yield to His voice.<br />yesterday was sensory overload. a hospital surgery waiting room. seeing, feeling so much..<br />i saw an elderly woman, waiting for her husband with her son. the son so passive and she so crazy to connect with him, talk to him about God and Jesus. he feigned sleep as she waxed on and then stopped and just loving looked at her son, desperate to connect with him and yet maybe not..maybe more desperate to be heard? and he feigned sleep.......<br />there is much emotion in a hospital waiting room...<br />sensory overload and yet woke up thinking on You and so anxious to BE HERE...<br />afraid<br />always afraid and trusting You....<br />praying for soft...<br /><div style="text-align: center;">soft = vulnerable<br />vulnerable = needing protection and dependent<br /><div style="text-align: left;">just talking myself thru a bit of <span style="font-style: italic;">crazy</span>.....fearful moment<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">YOU really can be enough??<br /><a href="http://thesearethethingsiwouldsay.blogspot.com/2011/08/blog-post.html#links"><br /></a></span><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://thesearethethingsiwouldsay.blogspot.com/2011/08/blog-post.html#links">i don't get to see what's ahead?</a><br />i don't get to know anything for sure, save Your grace and <span style="font-style: italic;">your Grace is sufficient for me</span>....it may even suck and YOU won't leave.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span><span style="font-style: italic;">YOUR GRACE is sufficient for me.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;">Rev. 12:11 <span style="font-style: italic;">They defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness. They weren't in love w/themselves; they were willing to die for Christ.</span><br /><br />obviously not there yet if a fear is being treated like an <span style="font-style: italic;">idiot</span>....not saying i am a prophet, just a woman who wants people, family....to know You, Your Son, Your spirit and sometimes i can sure feel like an idiot. worrying more about what people think than what you desire of me....<br />Abba, another day of softness and in that softness hearing and obeying with Your help.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></div></div><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div></div></div></div>Gigihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05805941956462456865noreply@blogger.com0