to my precious Kids and Grands...
i mostly live in what i 'can't'....

i pray you live and love and grow in looking only to Him and live deeply in what you can.....

He gave them exactly what they asked for—
but along with it they got an empty heart.
Psalm 106 vs 15

That verse this morning is kind of speaking to me and wanting to share my thoughts with you. On vacation Papa and I talked alot about FOCUS and becoming like children. One is in the Bible and the other is a word I am just drawn to, and we can talk about FOCUS later :) You all being amazing children I look to you for what that means and to your momma and daddy to see even more. You got good parents you know, not perfect of course but good God seeking parents and what they want for you is GOOD things. Now you may not always see them as GOOD....
like right now Emma is getting ready to get some braces on her teeth and while it may become uncomfortable the end result will be good teeth. Now Emma is probably going to not like her braces some days and she will have to remember the good it is doing when it hurts. She will have to remember what that contraption is doing in her mouth is HELPING to straightern her teeth... especially on the days when it hurts some. If her parents gave her what she wanted on those days and had the Orthodontist take it out... she would be unhappy later when her teeth aren't straight and maybe she wouldn't even be able to eat as well.
So I watch you and your momma and daddy and think.
I watch your momma and daddy be sad that it hurts you but know that they KNOW how important braces are and I think of all the things my Papa, Abba, God does in my life that i may not like or may not FEEL good and I have to remember that He loves me and is doing what is BEST. And if I keep on wanting and wanting what i want MORE than what He wants I could end up with that empty heart....So like Lynz and Paul, he will be sad with me, hurt with me like they hurt with Emma... and yet I HAVE to TrusT that He loves me and knows best.

I love you all so much and PRAY that you in your lives seek Him with your whole hearts and minds and wills and learn to want what He wants for you more than what you may want. Gigi

Matthew 10

It's a strange thing to be enjoying myself so very much on vacation and yet missing everyone so much. This time w/Papa is awesome, just me and him and our Abba. What they say about a 'cord of three stands' is so true. This is a pic of Papa of a morning connecting w/his Abba. He never thought he would enjoy journaling, but that well, that's another story.
We have done alot of traveling and finding out, that for us the biggest joy, is the getting there....we both love the bike so much we could hardly contain ourselves after arriving at Guadalupe River State Park, just outside San Antonio and getting camp set up..... after 1000 miles + on the bike we took off sans trailer for another 300 miles.
I hope it is something Papa gets to teach all you guys, how to dirt and street bike. He is an exemplary rider and would be a great teacher. Now if he teaches you, you must listen to all the rules. Papa is a safe rider and as much as I want you to love it I want you as well to know how to BE SAFE.
Yesterday in Matt. 9 was about the harvest being huge but the workers few...just kind of prayed all day to BE a harvest hand, prayed and wondered how on vacation we could do that. We both have been praying about our words and hearts to be on and about Him.
So last nite this young man wanders into our motel parking lot........i wish I could tell you some awesome story about him but all I have is a sadness about him this morning. He was probably pretty high when he came by, he was limping and had just been released from the hospital w/a broken foot that he was walking on......he said it was broken anyway......we asked him some questions and he needed a phone to call his Mom. I got my cell and he called her and she refused to come get him, to take him home.....then we called him a cab..... not before I walked down to a store and got some cash and food praying all the way for this guy. I wish we could tell you we talked to Him about Jesus, we didn't... but maybe in our small kindnesses he saw Him in us. I hope so guys, I hope in praying for Warren someday he comes to know a Father who will love him for always and forever. Who will always pick him up...
So today reading... The prayer was no sooner prayed than it was answered...I am hoping Warren was an answered prayer and now I am praying someone else somewhere soon, walks him through a loving relationship TO the most loving relationship...

Don't mishear me this life is not all vacation and easy. We maybe could have done more....we are blessed to be on vacation while Warren has a life gigging fish to make a living....there are bound to be some really sucky times but in the suck He never leaves. I promise you that. No matter how you might feel He never leaves and promises even to give you words to speak IF we will trust His Son, His Spirit and stop acting like we got it all together and ASK HIM to lead us and then, well then we must be willing to follow. I hope the Bible becomes a real lynchpin for your lives, that you will lean heavily into and onto Him and His leading. I pray these words are a comfort to you in whatever your lives bring but I pray more that His are and that you in His wisdom come to know all that it is He wills for you.

I pray more than anything you all know His love for yourselves....

David and Matthew 7

I hope you guys get to know David. I hope in reading over the years you find him to be inspirational and familiar. He wasn't perfect by any means, just as we are not called to perfection. He was a man after God's heart...a man who in his screw-ups, u-turned back to God. There's alot to be found in the OT stories and Davids is one of those.

And then the last couple of days of Matthew have been gut checkingly real, on why Papa and I love the DG process. The obedience, I will statements are life sustaining and we lived 50 years without them and even on our journey we didn't know...... Him being who He is tho we can start now......forgiven and GRACE filled we can ....
Jesus speaking / teaching in Matthew 7 vs 24 -27 "These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
"But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards."

the I wills are working them into our life and I hope and pray someday you do the same. not to be perfect or good people but like David you will have discovered Him and know He loves you and created you for more than you can imagine. love you Gigi

btw....my i will this vacation is to love....expect nothing....and pray......

learning...

I am learning guys.......
I will try to write to you how i am learning...

I screw up.....ALOT

What He is teaching me in this is......how very prideful I am, how I hate to screw up, make mistakes. How I won't even try somethings because of fear of THAT. And how no matter what with that attitude I am far from Him......far from His purpose for me.

I get so ashamed and FROZEN....when all He asks is to look at what I did/do and ask His forgiveness and then......well in the asking.....I get it, a real conviction w/out condemnation. Now I may see the conviction as condemnation, that's not Him. He is gonna show me how I screw up......I can hide in SHAME or look at it, really look at it, accept His GRACE and........

I remember when you were little Emma and you too hated to 'screw up', how you would beat yourself up while your Momma and Daddy were beside you loving you.....just loving you, trying to show you their love and you could only see how you screwed up........that's what and who He is with us and you helped me see that, your Momma and Daddy helped me see it.........I learn so much from you sweet girl and I pray for you to see Him, His love more than how you messed up.......because no matter what we do He loves us......not more when we do good...not less when we don't....He just loves us.....love you Gigi

Don't know how to start this.

It's to you Grands about your Papa and about marriage. You are all to young to even be thinking about but not for me to be praying about and for who you marry.

So maybe I just tell you about your Papa.

Papa is a most amazing man. He was raised w/6 siblings and his first two have some things about them 'different'. Don't want to call them handicaps and yet both of your Great Aunts started out w/challenges.
Papa was born when Teresa was not yet 2 years old and Elizabeth not yet 1. Papa was in this place called to a maturity and caring that shaped him in good and trying ways.
He has always had a caretaker in him and sometimes that evidenced itself in his younger years as needing to be the one to take care of things. It's a rare gift and sometimes can make a person forget that it is ultimately God taking care of things. It has been the most amazing ride to watch your Papa realize God uses him but that he isn't God or supposed to have to take care of everything.
Papa is kind oh boy is he kind. Don't you love the way he talks about Frank being ugly and then loves all over that dog. How he calls Petrie a rat and loves her. How he tears up when he thinks you guys are hurting or heaven forbid he hurt you.
Papa is generous, I love the way he tries to with you guys seem selfish, especially about his Nutty Bars :) Can't tell you how many boxes he has bought just to carry out that joke. But you guys see through him and know how generous he really is.
Papa is wise. I hope you guys see and emulate his wisdom. How seeking God first thing in the morning has made him wise.
Papa is so loving. I hope all the time he has worked and not been able to see you as much as I have hasn't allowed you to not see that love. I hope and pray that you as the years go by get to spend time w/Papa. He longs to take you fishing and camping and teach you the joys of dirtbiking. He not only longs to share with you the things he loves but hopes to get to watch and enjoy with you all the things YOU enjoy.

I have been so privileged to be married to him for 34 years. That our Abba in heaven allowed me this when we were so inattentive to Him for years just blows me away. I have seen many marriages not survive such neglect. It's a real puzzle guys the way seeking Him first.....works. We are called to love Him first and then our spouses and then our kids. That just sounds weird and yet what if guys we are supposed to BE WEIRD.
I am praying that your hearts are His, that you find in Him spouses who love Him first and then w/all assurance love you. And that you live lives with such FREEDOM and Purpose and Joy and if you don't marry I pray the same thing.

love you all Gigi

and Papa....Happy Anniversary and i love you

Millie Hope and the ZOO

We just got back from the KC Zoo, just you and I.
And before the memories fade wanted to write down what a good time I had with you.
Seeing the kangaroos and hearing your sweet voice tell me ' they look just like the Easter Rabbi Bunnet'...your Mom secretly hopes you never stop calling them that:)
Seeing the hippo's and having you settle onto my lap a wee bit tired and telling me "I love you so much Gigi " (heart melt) butand wanting to wait to see them slide into the water. (they didn't and we regretfully had to move on)
Seeing the Babboons and having to explain some stuff about male anatomy and primate behaviors:) I was to the point and yet vague enough Mom, so as not to make you have any early conversations ;)
Eating lunch with you and the conversation......oh the conversation.
Watching you fascinated by the Polar Bear and how other little girls are so friendly to you....and your shy receptance of such attention.

It was just a great day Miss Millie and just wanted you to know I loved the time with you and I LOVE YOU