Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sitting waiting for Jameson

life beginning
laboring it here
mom and dad connected
new life - hanging- waiting
IN Momma is safety
out here
Danger and RISK
protection yes
always protected
danger lurks
RISK calls

laboring it here
body and spirit
engaged in the job ahead

a Daddy watches
helplessly watches
his seed full grown inside her
their love creation waiting to be revealed

a story of waiting
nothing to be done
but wait

Our Abba started this
created it
perfect parts- fitting perfectly together
to share the beginning of a person
a REAL LIVE person
a person built to be CONNECTED to YOU
born into a world built to distract
filled with people bent on distracton
in distraction we lose
in losing focus
we clamor and flail and thrash around
doing damage
to ourselves
How can we tame the distractions?
for a young helpless being....
how can we help??

are we called to buffer?
Really Abba can we?
in buffering we protect
an infant needs our protection
US focused on YOU

WE must not be distracted

So today I pray
I wait
I give thanks

and then born at 8:56 pm June 17 weighing 8 lbs and 8 oz. 20 and 1/2 inches long
Thank you Abba for him for that day.....
praying for us.... women...crazy women and passive men.

praying a hunger for You
praying a hunger only for You, not relief from our circumstances.

Ps 86
11-17 Train me, God, to walk straight;
then I'll follow your true path.
Put me together, one heart and mind;
then, undivided, I'll worship in joyful fear.
From the bottom of my heart I thank you, dear Lord;
I've never kept secret what you're up to.
You've always been great toward me—what love!
You snatched me from the brink of disaster!
God, these bullies have reared their heads!
A gang of thugs is after me—
and they don't care a thing about you.
But you, O God, are both tender and kind,
not easily angered, immense in love,
and you never, never quit.
So look me in the eye and show kindness,
give your servant the strength to go on,
save your dear, dear child!
Make a show of how much you love me
so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed,
As you, God, gently and powerfully
put me back on my feet.

With hearts and minds trusting in You, not fighting for what we want.....undivided

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

wanting to post on twitter but too scared to put it out there....

wondering if it's true that we're crazy but they're passive, where's the hope? we=women they=men and yes i gots me some crazy

i do see my crazy and I do see in the past how Papa's passivity has contributed to where we are now....I see him though growing out of it and yet my crazy seems all the more prevalent??

he's winning the battle and i'm still fighting?? My crazy seems so confusing, it's about me wanting what I want all the freakin time.

so to my girls......daughters and grands I got that's not's in there see how our will's fight against Yours...

to my sons and's in there too....don't BE passive. lean heavily into Him, get into His word and fight for what He wants MORE than against our crazy, maybe being in the Word, seeing how we all fall far away from what He wants, trust that He's in that too...that He has us fighting against wanting what we want and desperate to want what He does....I don't know how to do it other than to tell you it's a FIGHT. one that as warriors, men of integrity and RISK when you fight to KNOW Him, be obedient to Him we (women) see it and want you to win.

i know our (women's) battle is to do the same. I know that but in our powerlessness in a world dominated by men we can feel defeat so quickly ......and you MEN are made to FIGHT. i know putting alot onto you men....but didn't He make you to BE our leaders?? Yes we're gonna fight against it, against you...wish i had more hope for you, it's gonna be rough, we're crazy remember.

see these are new thoughts a fresh admission of my sin and.......I guess it's owning my own CRAZY and not putting thoughts out there that are not thought out.....

please to my kids and precious Grands who read this in the future...i hope and pray you saw me fighting against the crazy, the wanting what I want........I know you see Papa coming out of a passivity, into a God dependence that is very attractive.

i pray in watching your parents lean into Him, loving Jesus, His Word, trusting His Spirit you are seeing something that is more than can be put into words....that you are going to be way more confused and soft and desperate for Him and that my a very good thing.

Monday, June 20, 2011

We can't give away what we don't have and we will give away what we do.

Erwin McManus: The path we choose to walk affects the lives of those closest to us.

Parents this is stuff to pray on and I promise to pray for you ....1 Timothy 2:1 The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I have a new Grand….which means one of our children has had a child….Jameson Garnett Kenealy born 8:56 pm on June 17th. Via C-section after a lot of hard labor by our DIL Allison and son Jared. What a day it was too. Watching them ‘labor’ into parenthood, surrounded by this amazing loving community of people. What I will remember is praying in the waiting room, this group of people centering and holding hands and lifting up Allison and Jared, the Drs. and Nurses…connected in that moment and praying. It was beautiful, he is beautiful and helpless and dependent on a Mommy and Daddy, broken and beautiful parents.

And then this morning so moved by the readings¸ especially Psalm 82:5 Ignorant judges! Head in the sand judges! They haven’t a clue what’s going on. And now everything is falling apart, the world coming unglued.

Can’t help but change judges to ‘parents’. Looking back on my own ‘parenting’, a generation blinded by stuff and things….raised by a generation who thought stuff and things was the way to go, raised by a generation without, thinking acquiring the stuff and things was the way to go, providing what hadn’t been provided to them because of lack?? I don’t know how to share my observations of this morning without just writing, my thoughts.

We raised a generation without imagination and now expect them to raise a generation not needing stimulation…constant stimulation, a barrage of sounds and lights and media and information. We went to a Royals ballgame recently and the actual ballgame was such a small part of the experience…there was a myriad of foods and media and even at the top of the stadium a playground where the ballgame isn’t even visible. We are blinded by sounds and lights and media and playgrounds while YOU are in the whisper….we raised a generation not knowing, afraid of silence, of lack ……..

Parents…Head in the sand, blinded parents….without a clue to what’s going on…passing their addictions down and now the world is coming unglued…Pay attention to God…Jesus…the Holy Spirit….Your spouse and then your children ….and in that order…….in the quiet it takes to get to THAT order….HE WILL WHISPER what’s next……His time…His order….His will. And oh my children what JOY comes from that submitting, surrender. Who knows what a generation raised in THAT surrender will be able to accomplish…what RISKS they will experience, what JOYS. Are you willing to enter into the silence and surrender to give your children something you never had?

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's Baby Day!!

9 months we've been waiting to meet this newest addition to not only our family but to the world....
9 months of waiting and praying and dreaming of what he or she is gonna look like.

and now allie is about to labor this new being into the world...allie and jared are about to become a family......i had trouble sleeping last nite, not really worrying but if i were to be honest there is in any childbirth concerns....mama works hard, daddy feels helpless and watches his wife labor and be uncomfortable and they don't call it labor pains for nuthin......

so praying today for momma and baby...for daddy to be centered in and on YOU, Your Son...that Your Spirit guide and protect all of them.

Monday, June 6, 2011

I love the Bible, I love to watch others fall in love with it, to fall in love with He who wrote it, inspired the stories written and lived in it.....finding them selves deeply loved and more loving...... I read it every day not because I have to but because I love it. I love the connection it seems to offer me to someone who knew me before I was born . Who knows and calls me to a different way of thinking, being........who knows me and forgives me....who helps me avoid shame and being all about me to thinking more of and moving towards others.......who when I try to label and categorize others reminds me how little I know.....

I love it because I feel humbler and softer and more loving from reading it, still stubborn and rebellious and selfish and I pray somehow, someway my Grands come to love it the same. I pray for them to KNOW Jesus and allow that knowing to take them to a place of trusting Your Spirit to DO amazing things for Your Glory and I have not a clue what those things are.....

I pray that I talk about You, Jesus, Your Spirit in a way that isn't weird or off putting or rude or self righteous ....... I need Your help to know my own story and be able to tell it. I need to be quiet more than speak.......