Saturday, April 23, 2011

Matthew 10

It's a strange thing to be enjoying myself so very much on vacation and yet missing everyone so much. This time w/Papa is awesome, just me and him and our Abba. What they say about a 'cord of three stands' is so true. This is a pic of Papa of a morning connecting w/his Abba. He never thought he would enjoy journaling, but that well, that's another story.
We have done alot of traveling and finding out, that for us the biggest joy, is the getting there....we both love the bike so much we could hardly contain ourselves after arriving at Guadalupe River State Park, just outside San Antonio and getting camp set up..... after 1000 miles + on the bike we took off sans trailer for another 300 miles.
I hope it is something Papa gets to teach all you guys, how to dirt and street bike. He is an exemplary rider and would be a great teacher. Now if he teaches you, you must listen to all the rules. Papa is a safe rider and as much as I want you to love it I want you as well to know how to BE SAFE.
Yesterday in Matt. 9 was about the harvest being huge but the workers few...just kind of prayed all day to BE a harvest hand, prayed and wondered how on vacation we could do that. We both have been praying about our words and hearts to be on and about Him.
So last nite this young man wanders into our motel parking lot........i wish I could tell you some awesome story about him but all I have is a sadness about him this morning. He was probably pretty high when he came by, he was limping and had just been released from the hospital w/a broken foot that he was walking on......he said it was broken anyway......we asked him some questions and he needed a phone to call his Mom. I got my cell and he called her and she refused to come get him, to take him home.....then we called him a cab..... not before I walked down to a store and got some cash and food praying all the way for this guy. I wish we could tell you we talked to Him about Jesus, we didn't... but maybe in our small kindnesses he saw Him in us. I hope so guys, I hope in praying for Warren someday he comes to know a Father who will love him for always and forever. Who will always pick him up...
So today reading... The prayer was no sooner prayed than it was answered...I am hoping Warren was an answered prayer and now I am praying someone else somewhere soon, walks him through a loving relationship TO the most loving relationship...

Don't mishear me this life is not all vacation and easy. We maybe could have done more....we are blessed to be on vacation while Warren has a life gigging fish to make a living....there are bound to be some really sucky times but in the suck He never leaves. I promise you that. No matter how you might feel He never leaves and promises even to give you words to speak IF we will trust His Son, His Spirit and stop acting like we got it all together and ASK HIM to lead us and then, well then we must be willing to follow. I hope the Bible becomes a real lynchpin for your lives, that you will lean heavily into and onto Him and His leading. I pray these words are a comfort to you in whatever your lives bring but I pray more that His are and that you in His wisdom come to know all that it is He wills for you.

I pray more than anything you all know His love for yourselves....

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

David and Matthew 7

I hope you guys get to know David. I hope in reading over the years you find him to be inspirational and familiar. He wasn't perfect by any means, just as we are not called to perfection. He was a man after God's heart...a man who in his screw-ups, u-turned back to God. There's alot to be found in the OT stories and Davids is one of those.

And then the last couple of days of Matthew have been gut checkingly real, on why Papa and I love the DG process. The obedience, I will statements are life sustaining and we lived 50 years without them and even on our journey we didn't know...... Him being who He is tho we can start now......forgiven and GRACE filled we can ....
Jesus speaking / teaching in Matthew 7 vs 24 -27 "These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
"But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards."

the I wills are working them into our life and I hope and pray someday you do the same. not to be perfect or good people but like David you will have discovered Him and know He loves you and created you for more than you can imagine. love you Gigi i will this vacation is to love....expect nothing....and pray......

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I am learning guys.......
I will try to write to you how i am learning...

I screw up.....ALOT

What He is teaching me in this very prideful I am, how I hate to screw up, make mistakes. How I won't even try somethings because of fear of THAT. And how no matter what with that attitude I am far from Him......far from His purpose for me.

I get so ashamed and FROZEN....when all He asks is to look at what I did/do and ask His forgiveness and then......well in the asking.....I get it, a real conviction w/out condemnation. Now I may see the conviction as condemnation, that's not Him. He is gonna show me how I screw up......I can hide in SHAME or look at it, really look at it, accept His GRACE and........

I remember when you were little Emma and you too hated to 'screw up', how you would beat yourself up while your Momma and Daddy were beside you loving you.....just loving you, trying to show you their love and you could only see how you screwed up........that's what and who He is with us and you helped me see that, your Momma and Daddy helped me see it.........I learn so much from you sweet girl and I pray for you to see Him, His love more than how you messed up.......because no matter what we do He loves us......not more when we do good...not less when we don't....He just loves you Gigi

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Don't know how to start this.

It's to you Grands about your Papa and about marriage. You are all to young to even be thinking about but not for me to be praying about and for who you marry.

So maybe I just tell you about your Papa.

Papa is a most amazing man. He was raised w/6 siblings and his first two have some things about them 'different'. Don't want to call them handicaps and yet both of your Great Aunts started out w/challenges.
Papa was born when Teresa was not yet 2 years old and Elizabeth not yet 1. Papa was in this place called to a maturity and caring that shaped him in good and trying ways.
He has always had a caretaker in him and sometimes that evidenced itself in his younger years as needing to be the one to take care of things. It's a rare gift and sometimes can make a person forget that it is ultimately God taking care of things. It has been the most amazing ride to watch your Papa realize God uses him but that he isn't God or supposed to have to take care of everything.
Papa is kind oh boy is he kind. Don't you love the way he talks about Frank being ugly and then loves all over that dog. How he calls Petrie a rat and loves her. How he tears up when he thinks you guys are hurting or heaven forbid he hurt you.
Papa is generous, I love the way he tries to with you guys seem selfish, especially about his Nutty Bars :) Can't tell you how many boxes he has bought just to carry out that joke. But you guys see through him and know how generous he really is.
Papa is wise. I hope you guys see and emulate his wisdom. How seeking God first thing in the morning has made him wise.
Papa is so loving. I hope all the time he has worked and not been able to see you as much as I have hasn't allowed you to not see that love. I hope and pray that you as the years go by get to spend time w/Papa. He longs to take you fishing and camping and teach you the joys of dirtbiking. He not only longs to share with you the things he loves but hopes to get to watch and enjoy with you all the things YOU enjoy.

I have been so privileged to be married to him for 34 years. That our Abba in heaven allowed me this when we were so inattentive to Him for years just blows me away. I have seen many marriages not survive such neglect. It's a real puzzle guys the way seeking Him We are called to love Him first and then our spouses and then our kids. That just sounds weird and yet what if guys we are supposed to BE WEIRD.
I am praying that your hearts are His, that you find in Him spouses who love Him first and then w/all assurance love you. And that you live lives with such FREEDOM and Purpose and Joy and if you don't marry I pray the same thing.

love you all Gigi

and Papa....Happy Anniversary and i love you

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Millie Hope and the ZOO

We just got back from the KC Zoo, just you and I.
And before the memories fade wanted to write down what a good time I had with you.
Seeing the kangaroos and hearing your sweet voice tell me ' they look just like the Easter Rabbi Bunnet'...your Mom secretly hopes you never stop calling them that:)
Seeing the hippo's and having you settle onto my lap a wee bit tired and telling me "I love you so much Gigi " (heart melt) butand wanting to wait to see them slide into the water. (they didn't and we regretfully had to move on)
Seeing the Babboons and having to explain some stuff about male anatomy and primate behaviors:) I was to the point and yet vague enough Mom, so as not to make you have any early conversations ;)
Eating lunch with you and the conversation......oh the conversation.
Watching you fascinated by the Polar Bear and how other little girls are so friendly to you....and your shy receptance of such attention.

It was just a great day Miss Millie and just wanted you to know I loved the time with you and I LOVE YOU

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

you can't give away what you don't have...

i say it alot
i believe it

this morning i got nuthin to give away save for a coming to Him and praying as you grow go to Him with all your needs and wants.

so i read 1 Samuel 13 and 2 Corinthians 12

Saul...oh Saul vs 9-13 tells of him getting tired of waiting for Samuel and doing what he thought was right, what he did sounded good and right but he was told to wait for Samuel. I don't know about you guys but i can get so tired of waiting. i can start convincing myself of things that God doesn't want from me when He's told me to wait. He put your parents over you for a reason, to look out for you, for your own good.......remember to wait, no matter how hard the waiting is. i hope you will be able to discern when you get older when He says 'wait'.....i pray for you all of a morning...Emma, Gabe, Millie, Nehemiah and this new one not yet born....that your relationships w/God through Christ be full of wonder and risk and joy.

and you parents...lynz and paul, dara and juno, jared and allison...i read this quote yesterday and i pray it stirs you up just as it stirred me....
Eric Haynes ...Is my primary goal as a parent focused on helping my kids discover a deep, personal relationship with Christ, or just controlling behaviors?

love you all Gigi

Monday, April 11, 2011

I am struggling today w/how hard IT is....
IT = trying /training to follow Christ
Smiling at myself in the suck, the hard, smiling that I keep wanting it EASY.

The smiling is good I's a sense of Him tho convicting me w/out condemnation.

so remember it's all about Him guys and when it gets hard, well.....
He never promised us EASY
He promised...
promises to BE WITH Us.....

so today in the struggle i am gonna hold His is ALWAYS right there, I sometimes in looking for EASY or what i want decide it's not enough for me this time. Today tho......gonna take it. :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

1 Samuel 1 & 2; Psalm 66; 2 Corinthians 7

Good morning kiddos.....
Your Gigi can sometimes be fraught with doubts and i don't always do a good job of trusting others with those doubts. My need for encouragement and control make me isolate more than is good, so if any of you have those traits or characteristics try/train very hard to overcome the pull to isolation.
I think alot of times my doubts come from comparing myself to others which probably if i could get down to the heart of it always is nothing but judging another?? I'm not sure that is always the case but worth looking at this morning and for you in your own journeys.

So this morning, I come to the Word and I hope that is a place you all will learn to love to come to as well. It's a place that He created for us, knowing us as He does. A place where what He's done and said is documented for us. You will hear many things about it as you grow. People might use it to influence you and my prayer is in that knowing it and Him for yourselves, you will be both easily influenced and turned back to Him and not influenced by people who simply want to control you and or your thinking. He made us to in Him think for ourselves. He gifted each of you with gifts, passions and talents that will grow you into the people He created you to be.

so i read this morning about Hannah and her desire for a child......children really are a blessing you know :) She prayed and bargained w/God (my interpretation) and was given a son Samuel. She in her bargain gave him (Samuel) at a young age to Eli a priest and he grew up in the temple, with Eli's sons who didn't behave very well at all......Hannah praised God for him, her prayer this morning in 1 Samuel 2 and then Psalm 66 really encouraged me this morning.
It is guys all about HIM and this morning I am thanking Him for all of YOU. That I have been allowed the awesomest privilege to be your Gigi, to pray for you, to love you. And that it is only because of Him that i have, blows me away. I am going to hang on tight to these two verses today....
1 Samuel 2:3....For God knows what's going on.
He takes the measure of everything that happens.
and Psalm 66 : 5-6
Take a good look at God's wonders—
they'll take your breath away.
He converted sea to dry land;
travelers crossed the river on foot.
Now isn't that cause for a song?

7 Ever sovereign in his high tower, he keeps
his eye on the godless nations.
Rebels don't dare
raise a finger against him.

I am gonna hold on and an I will for me comes from the 2 Corinthians reading. Alot of times I am probably gonna say things that 'tick you off'....I am going to be pointing you to Him over and over and over, when I sense the Holy Spirit leading me to and when my love for you is overcome by my need for you to love me.....I am not supposed to need that you know, I am supposed to love you recklessly, well really I am supposed to love Him that way and won't be able to help myself in loving you and anyone else that way...but like I said I doubt and start to want what I want more. My hearts desire tho is to love you that way, His way and I will yield more and more to Him to help me. I will recklessly love today as YOU lead.
Anyway in pointing you to Him sometimes it's gonna hurt but it's those hurts I pray take you deeply into His . I know all this is confusing and maybe as I write here and you experience Him through Jesus yourself it will make sense....till then.....we keep trying/training to grow up in Him right??

2 Cor. 7: 8-9 I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don't feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I'm glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss.

10Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

11-13And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you've come out of this with purity of heart. And that is what I was hoping for in the first place when I wrote the letter. My primary concern was not for the one who did the wrong or even the one wronged, but for you—that you would realize and act upon the deep, deep ties between us before God. That's what happened—and we felt just great.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Just had breakfast w/a couple of lovelies.....and we talked about You and where You want us to go how You want us to get there. None of us knowing anything for sure save that we want to go where You desire and how easily other things (gods in our lives) get in the way of that.

An I will for me this week is to love recklessly, giving permission to those around me to remind me that love believes the best, allow Your Spirit to remind me.

To ask myself am I really loving recklessly or trying to control anothers Ought to be a rough week.