09/11/11

papa and i went riding on the 11th of september. just papa taking roads as they caught his fancy, my favorite kind of ride. a kind of sort of destination, leaving him a freedom of choice as he rides.
we stopped at noon to pray, remember, thank God for everything and ask for guidance as we try to live these lives of purpose, desiring to build up others as disciples of Christ and clueless in the how of it.
anytime i ride behind your papa i have time to think and pray. this time was no different and filled w/imagery for me.
your papa started the trip off right w/his lil piece of blue tape that's for sure:)


i don't know how to write of my memories of 10 years ago .
i was at work on 14 s main, the central office for liberty public schools at that time. seeing the events transpire was surreal and sobering . my first thot was that jared, your daddy jameson , was going to have to go to war. not of the people dying but how it was going to effect me by how it was going to effect your daddy.
he was a senior in high school at the time and our only son, the baby, the only one still home. i am ashamed now at how my thots ran so quickly and were not centered on those in the midst of the suffering.
papa was at work in the railyards next to the kc downtown airport and he noticed planes landing and wondered what was going on i remember trying to tell him. i remember his calming me, telling me to pray and then the coolest thing happened, we all held hands and prayed.
it was a day filled w/images of smoke and fire and so much death.
i remember the days following and everyone talking about all who died being angels and already in heaven and i remember wondering about that did they know Jesus and what if they didn't and i remember praying for an urgency in my life to help people know Him.
i remember feeling weird that i didn't agree w/those who believed all were in heaven.
i remember the weirdness killing the urgency......for a time.
i remember wanting to give away something i maybe didn't have and being so disappointed.
i remember that disappointment somedays being so heavy that i thought i would simply go crazy with it.
i remember papa and i arguing alot and yet never staying in anger, we were learning to communicate and hear each other.

there's probably more but that's what i remember today. i pray for when you all experience things like 9/11 that deepen your faith and take you closer to Him. love you all gigi