Wednesday, September 7, 2011

2 Chronicles 36:12

2 Chronicles 36:12 .....treated the prophets like idiots...

i tell myself i write here for when i'm gone, for my Grands to see a journey, mine, their papa's and yet sometimes the thoughts are probably more appropriate to a hand-written journal. for my eyes only and the ears of a sweet papa who sits with me of a morning as we listen and talk to our Papa.

i have been praying for softness, for His eyes and a softness and obedience to yield to His voice.
yesterday was sensory overload. a hospital surgery waiting room. seeing, feeling so much..
i saw an elderly woman, waiting for her husband with her son. the son so passive and she so crazy to connect with him, talk to him about God and Jesus. he feigned sleep as she waxed on and then stopped and just loving looked at her son, desperate to connect with him and yet maybe not..maybe more desperate to be heard? and he feigned sleep.......
there is much emotion in a hospital waiting room...
sensory overload and yet woke up thinking on You and so anxious to BE HERE...
always afraid and trusting You....
praying for soft...
soft = vulnerable
vulnerable = needing protection and dependent
just talking myself thru a bit of crazy.....fearful moment
YOU really can be enough??

i don't get to see what's ahead?
i don't get to know anything for sure, save Your grace and your Grace is sufficient for may even suck and YOU won't leave.
YOUR GRACE is sufficient for me.

Rev. 12:11 They defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness. They weren't in love w/themselves; they were willing to die for Christ.

obviously not there yet if a fear is being treated like an idiot....not saying i am a prophet, just a woman who wants people, know You, Your Son, Your spirit and sometimes i can sure feel like an idiot. worrying more about what people think than what you desire of me....
Abba, another day of softness and in that softness hearing and obeying with Your help.

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